I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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