Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Randomize
