What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
