Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
