That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
