In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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