i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
All the doctor said was why
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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