im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
