is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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