Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize