I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My first STD was from a foam party
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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