just tell him i said nine months
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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