who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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