grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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