Me. At least after what I've been through.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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