Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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