piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
