i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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