Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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