just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
No subtext here. People are naked.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize