Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
