Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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