need another drink. this is the easiest way
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
