This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
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I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
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He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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