You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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