I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
