Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
