This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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