I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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