I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
