I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
