I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
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I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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