Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
