OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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