Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
