??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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