he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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