The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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