omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
