And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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