CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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