Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
