Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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