If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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