my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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