so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
