You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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