I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
