Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize