vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
