it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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