He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
