you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
