you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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