I think im going to throw up on grandma
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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