Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
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What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
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Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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