yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
