Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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