It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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